23 Easy Steps to a Healthier You

You've all heard it, so I don't have to go into it and give all the gory details..... smoking is bad for you.  Red meat is bad for you.   We should all chew gum and eat antibiotic-free organic chicken instead.  But vices are vices for a reason, and sometimes it's hard to give those things up even when we know we should.

Well today is your lucky day, loved ones!  I have kicked the red meat and smoking habit, and I'm going to share my secrets with you.  Get ready to be transformed!!

How to Give Up Smoking and Red Meat in 23 Easy Steps:

1.  Go to law school.

2.  Develop an inferiority complex from the unrelenting mindfuckery imposed upon you by your professors for 3 years.

3.  Graduate cum laude regardless.

4.  Get a job at a Big Firm making Big Money for Little Exposure and Experience.

5.  Further develop your inferiority complex watching your peers get more work than you and get treated like you didn't just graduate cum laude from law school.

6.  Go to lots of firm dinners where they feed you red meat to make you feel better about the fact that you are a mere cog in their machine which they will promptly replace with one just like you when you wear out.

7.  Go out during the week after you get off work at 11:30 pm so you can have some chill time before you have to deal with your spouse who rides your ass for working all the time, yet enjoys spending up the money you earn.

8.  Start smoking cloves while you drink at the after-work-but-WAY-past-happy-hour gatherings with all the other lawyers and law students just as worn out and browbeaten as you.

9.  Get separated from your spouse, causing you to not just smoke cloves when you are out, but all the time due to the emotional stress.

10.  Leave your Big Money Big Firm job because you are tired of dying on the inside a little bit every day.

11.  Scrimp (not to be confused with shrimp) by doing contract work and temp jobs for a year, slowly decreasing the amount of red meat you can afford to eat (but still keep a steady supply of cloves).

12.  Vote for Obama.

13.  Get a job at a Small Firm making BIGGER money.

14.  Increase your consumption of red meat because once again you can afford to go out and eat steaks.

15.  Increase your consumption of cloves due to the stress of the insane work environment where there are absolutely no checks and balances or legal protections when there are fewer than 15 employees.

16.  Leave Small Firm and increase clove consumption even more because you're sitting at home applying for jobs all day (and sleeping).

17.  Get a job making 1/4 of what you used to make and decrease clove consumption because you are in an office all day and don't have the liberty to come and go outside for smoke breaks because you are treated like a peon, but increase clove consumption outside of work while you wonder whose life this is.

18.  Stop going out to eat because you can't afford it, but still have the occasional ground beef in a fast food burger off the dollar menu.

19.  Try and hate the new and unimproved Djarum Black clove cigars because regular clove cigarettes have been banned by President Obama.

20.  Buy whatever leftover stock of ANY variety of cloves you can find, including Cherry and Reds, which are okay but aren't the Blacks.  Smoke less to make them last longer.

21.  Stop eating burgers altogether because you can't afford to eat out AT ALL.  Instead eat soup (cuz that's only $1.62 a can).

22.  Eat the occasional random charity cheeseburger or steak from a friend or loved one and notice how angrily your stomach reacts to the re-introduction of beef, even though it tasted good going down.

23.  Stop buying cloves because you're too broke to buy those, too.... that's even assuming you can find the old ones, which are now technically illegal for vendors to sell so they won't get any more stock.

And there you have it.  Clove cigarette and read meat free.  Simple, right?

Do Nothing

"I like that too," said Christopher Robin, "but what I like doing best is Nothing."

"How do you do Nothing?" asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time.

"Well, it's what people call out at you just as you're going off to do it, What are you going to do, Christopher Robin, and you say, Oh, Nothing, and then you go and do it."

"Oh, I see," said Pooh.

"This is a nothing sort of thing that we're doing now."

"Oh, I see," said Pooh again.

"It means just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

~A.A. Milne, "The House at Pooh Corner"

Doing Nothing..... that is something that we, in our era of constant connectivity and bombardment of media, find it almost impossible to do. We're always doing something..... working on something, fixing something, watching something, reading something, communicating something, going to something..... and what we don't realize or appreciate that there is value and purpose in doing Nothing.

I'm not talking about sitting around and vegging out in front of your TV for hours on end.  Even the act of sitting in front of the television or computer, clicking from channel to channel and site to site is doing something.... the mind is working, overtime.  I'm talking about doing nothing in the philosophical sense.

In one sense of the concept, I'm talking about the value of meditative thought.  Think about the last time you were waiting somewhere.... in line, in traffic, for the bus/train..... what were you doing?  If you're like me, you were probably head down in your Blackberry or iPhone on Twitter (guilty) or Facebook or e-mail or chat. Or worse, you get angry at the fact that you have to wait. When was the last time you stopped to observe your surroundings..... the beauty of the trees, the sky, the architecture?  The sounds all around you? The feeling of the breeze blowing on your face?  All the manifestations of The Most High's work? And then just sat and thought about nothing but what you are observing in the immediate here and now? Just stopping to do nothing during these times....or just any time you are feeling overwhelmed....can greatly reduce your anxiety levels and help you focus on what is really important.

In the second sense of the concept, I'm talking about doing Nothing as a means of problem solving or conflict resolution.  So often (and again I am very guilty of this) we feel the need to constantly analyze and fix, with some people being more focused on one of those processes over another.  We can get ourselves into "analysis paralysis" where we are stuck in a never ending cycle of thought that essentially gets us nowhere, or we rush in haste to fix or do and end up taking premature action with adverse consequences.  Often times the best thing to do in times of conflict or personal challenge is just to do Nothing.  Again, I'm not talking about complete inaction or inattention.  I'm talking about ceasing the fight against the current by flailing about, exhausting yourself and getting nowhere, either in thought or in action. In other cliche words, you just have to let nature take its course. A Zen proverb that I particularly like is “Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself", meaning that no matter what you do or don't do, life will still go on and will occur just as it is designed and intended to. Trying to force the grass to grow faster or spring to come earlier is an utterly pointless waste of energy.

A Zen concept that I particularly like is the wild monkey mind. Your wild monkey mind jumps from thought to thought like a monkey jumps from tree to tree, throwing bananas, and generally acting unruly. The monkey mind is not content with existing in the present moment, but rather engages in the clutter of endless and aggravating alternative thoughts.  Even when we are "doing nothing" and sitting still, our minds may be a whirlwind of activity that distracts us from life. Our goal should be to tame the wild monkey mind so that we can focus on what is important in the present moment and clearly see the significant aspects of our lives.

One of my favorite books (and probably one that had the biggest impact on how I think about life) is The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.  The main premise of the book is that the Universe conspires to help us achieve our personal destiny. Along with that principle, another that I subscribe to is that everything works out the way it is supposed to.  Notice that I didn't say the way we WANT it to, because many times in the short term we don't know what we want or what's really our ultimate destination (remember, "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it."). When we rush about trying to fix and analyze, we can miss the signs pointing us in the direction we ought to be going, including the signs that come from within. Instinct is a powerful thing, loved ones, but instinct must also be combined with patience so that we can see the big picture being painted in our lives.

So how do we go about doing Nothing (because it's not as easy as Christopher Robin says) and tame our wild money mind in the process? You can start with simple meditation.  I highly recommend guided meditation, which is kind of meditation with training wheels (try Guided Meditations on Zencast.org). You simply listen to the audio and do what it says. Try it now:




Another thing I do (when weather permits) is to go to a park or gardens and just sit.... I focus on the sound of the water and the leaves rustling in the trees, watching how the water flows over the rocks and the appearance of the leaves, the feel of the breeze caressing my cheeks....everything immediately around me except the turmoil going on in my own head (I'm going to have to write another post about child-like wonder).  Afterwards I usually find the answer to my problem sitting right in front of me in my mind, as if I cleared away the heap of junk all around it and there it is. Of course I am a logical and analytical person by nature, but when things are really overwhelming and I feel stuck, meditation usually works for me. It takes that monkey and shoots a tranquilizer dart in its neck puts it in its cage.  Eventually you get to the point where you can do this regularly....be able to stop yourself, take a few deep breaths and just listen to what the Universe is telling you.

So put away your pros and cons checklist, stop weighing options, cease the knee jerk reactions, quit the ruminations..... and just do Nothing.

Bad ass Ex? Don't do this.....

(Ok, ok, I know I said I wasn't going to talk about my divorce anymore, but this is a funny story about what NOT to do.....)

Guys, if you are courting a new lady friend, the dumbest thing in the world to do is to tell her her how much of a bad ass your ex is........and dumb to the nth degree is to actually SHOW her.

For those who don't know, I take martial arts classes. I started back in March as an activitiy to do with my daughter. We do Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, Hapkido and weapons (long staff, sword, spear, etc.). I like the idea of being dangerous (and the resulting weight loss) and it fits with my idiosyncratic persona.

So Saturday was our graduation ceremony to move up to our next ranks. My daughter moved up to purple belt and I moved up to green (she's a rank ahead of me). The graduation ceremony is basically a performance of everything we learned during the semester for our friends and loved ones, plus the mandatory breaking of a board with our current board breaking technique, which this past semester was the flying side kick. *eek!*

The Ex recently (within the past month or two) broke up with the chick he'd been dating since before the ink was even on the divorce decree.... so for about 2 years. Apparently he already has a new "lady friend" on deck because he invited her to our daughter's martial arts graduation (I won't even go into the propriety of having this chick all up in my kids' events so soon, but whatever.... not my call and not a fitting subject for this blog).  The chick is just ok......not ugly, but kinda stumpy, stringy hair, kinda basic, definitely nothing like me (but then again, that's pretty damn hard to come by).  I'm not sure if he just didn't realize or didn't think about the fact that:

1) this was also MY graduation,

2) this would be the first time she would meet his ex-wife and mother of his kids, and

3) I would be there beating people up and breaking things.

Being that I fully recognize that everyone has a wee bit of petty in them (including myself) I kinda enjoyed being witness to his epic failure in judgment as to what constitutes a good "date". (Let me make it VERY clear, though... I am unequivocally over my ex-husband.  But I'm still a woman. Woman = petty-ish. Meh.) Not only did he have her AND her daughter there, he had her sitting front and center to where I was lined up to do my technique demonstrations, so I made sure my kung fu form was extra crisp and my ki-yaps extra loud. I wish I could have seen the look on her face when I was asked to re-demonstrate, alone for the class, my Hapkido technique on a male classmate who is bigger than me because my daughter doesn't offer enough resistance as a partner. (In case you (probably) don't know, Hapkido is a series of self defense techniques ..... it's a counter attack and take down, kind of like these.)

But my FAVORITE part was at the end when we had to do our board breaks. I always manage to kick the board holder in the fingers at least once and take multiple times to break my board (they're about 1" thick). And that was with stationary kicks.... this one I had to run and jump in the air. Sideways. And kick. When it was my turn I gave one loud "KI-YAP" and took off running at the board, jumped up and kicked it clean in half on the first try. Kamsamnida and that's all she wrote. Of course when I was done I went over to where they were sitting, smiled real big and shook her hand when he introduced us, because I'm not really a mean spirited or violent person. But that in and of itself is a little disarming.  I just wish I could have been witness to the conversation that followed later that afternoon.  ("Um, sweetums, when were you going to tell me your ex-wife is a 5'10 black belt karate master a green belt in tae kwon do and can take down a grown ass man by just squeezing his wrists??")

Just think about this scenario objectively, though...... you're seeing a new guy (or chick). Your tentative boo-thang invites you to an event where you (possibly unknowningly) meet their ex for the first time, and the ex is demonstrating how (s)he would beat the shit out of someone who fucks with him/her. Um.... not really a good look.

In fact, don't invite your new boo-thang to ANYTHING where your ex is demonstrating his or her bad-assery, whether that's athletic, aesthetic, intellectual, or whatever. At least not until you are securely established in your relationship and your boo knows that you're all about them.  And even still it is probably never a good idea.  This is particularly important for guys to keep in mind when trying to get something going with a new lady friend because we are catty, jealous and insecure, but it goes for everyone..... nobody likes to be compared to the ex. Nobody wants to hear about how great the ex is. And you for damn sure don't want to see it.

A Logophile PSA

It has been brought to my attention that sometimes I use some Big Ass Words (a.k.a. $100 Words) in my blog posts. I honestly don't do this to be self-important, I do it because I'm a self-professed logophile (i.e. a word lover, from the Greek work "logos" meaning 'speech' and the suffix "-phile" meaning 'friend, lover'). When I was in law school, Webster and Black were my best buddies and we rolled (literally, in my rolling backpack because the text books were so effing heavy) everywhere together. Anytime I came across a word I didn't know (which was often) I'd stop and break out one or the other so that I had a full understanding of what I was reading (and to ensure I didn't make an ass of myself in class discussion). Soon this just became a habit with anything I read (One book that comes to mind for which this was a absolute must was Elliot Pearlman's "Seven Types of Ambiguity"..... I learned a lot of new words reading that gem).

So as a courtesy, I've provided a permanent link to Dictionary.com on the site (off to the right) so that when I get into my highfalutin' lawyer mode, you can quickly and easily access the meaning to any words I may get carried away with. There's even an audio pronunciation feature in case you actually ever want to use the word in conversation, and so THIS doesn't happen to you. It's all about educating yourself, loved ones, so don't be afraid to use it.

(This has been a public service announcement brought to you by your friendly logophile. Have a nice day.)

"And some waffle fries.... FOR FREE!"

I apologize if the following video is offensive to anyone..... and this is the first and last apology you will ever receive here at Idiosyncratic Thoughts.  But it's for background and context loved ones (focus on part 1:09).......





I always hear guys lamenting about how women are always getting in men's pockets and getting stuff for free. You think we never have to buy a drink, we never have to buy anything to eat, and we always have some sucker benevolent gentleman to take us shopping. I would consider myself a fairly attractive woman with a nice donk and tig-ole-bitties a pleasing physique, and I'm here to state for the record that:

• I typically drink in the parking lot before going into the club buy my own drinks, and if I don't it's usually a friend who holds me down.
• I've never had a bill paid by a man.
• Nobody has ever taken me shopping.
• I've never been taken on a vacation.
• I finance and pay for my own car.
• I get my own nails and hurr hair did.
  
• I work for everything I get.

Perhaps I'm just doing something wrong and dudes really are out here tricking like that on a regular basis, in which case please educate me on the the proper application of my Powers of Persuasion (and trust, my advocacy is quite strong). Otherwise, I'm here to tell you that it's not going down like that out here, and that the the notion that we are always getting stuff for free is just as big of a myth as the notion that there are all these men out here with the means of paying for all these big ticket items ("Whatever You Like" is a freaking fairy tale).

On the other hand, though, I must reveal the other side of this coin, and that is that guy get more shyt for free from women than they care to admit or acknowledge, and without all the hassle and stipulations that we are subject to.

Let me give you a scenario: I'm at the Wendy's drive-thru with my... um.... well.... him. We're placing a somewhat "complex" order (i.e. asking for more than one thing to be added to or omitted from more than 1 sandwich.... the odds of it being correct are slim to none), and my... uh.... he is joking around with the drive thru chick and Spongebob Christy the food prep chick who he hears drive-thru chick talking to in the background to make sure she got the order right.

(*Non-Sequitur Moment: in my marital arts leadership class we learned the 3 Means of Touch, one of which is the use of a person's name. Just think about how powerful that simple little thing is, loved ones......)

We get to the window and he decides that the fries aren't quite hot enough and asks drive thru chick to have Christy make us some more. Then he says "And throw in a 5 piece nugget, too." Her response: "Ok." Five minutes later drive-thru chick AND Christy come out to deliver a bag that is twice as full as the one we were originally handed, which included not five, but about 3940238942 nuggets. And this was with me in the car.... I'd hate to see what the damage would have been if I hadn't been there.

So I know what you're saying.... "Big deal, he got some free nuggets." But this stuff happens to him ALL THE TIME. I have countless stories of how this dude constantly gets free stuff off nothing but his charm.  It's so bad that the Taco Bell manager in the mall had to tell the cashiers to quit giving him free food all the time. And that stuff adds up to WAY more than some $8 drink that I was able to procure from Drink Man in the club.

Here is the key difference, though, which is my whole point: women will give men stuff for free just on GP, whereas when women get stuff out of men it is usually on a quid pro quo basis. Men will get the free fries because they are cute/sexy/charming.  I've seen this countless times.... women going all out sending care packages and housewarming gifts and meals and receiving absolutely nothing in return. If we get some free fries, dude expects some booty.  Not a particularly fair exchange.

Case in point: I'm currently sitting at home, alone, on a Friday night, writing this blog post instead of being out and about. DJ D-Nice ("... taking out you suckas and you don't know how I did it....") is at a club downtown tonight, but the tickets are $20. I know the... well.... he doesn't have a title, just kind of the 2nd HNIC (or "dude who gets shyt done"), quite well (to state it lightly). I didn't even bother hitting him up to ask for a hook-up because I know the expectation would be that there would have to be some "return" on his complete lack of investment, and quite honestly $20 isn't just a crackhead price, it's a meth head price. Women, on the other hand, don't have such expectations, and will hook a guy up just because he's cute. Perhaps it is just in our nature to care for children and fools men, or maybe it's societal constraints in place that tell us it's not okay for women to ask for sexual favors in return for non-sexual favors and instead we merely do these things out of hope that the guy will offer up such an exchange. Whatever the sociological case may be, all I know is that he gets things for free off of a smile and that cute little walk of his (excuse my caking), whereas it's a treacherous negotiation and hassle for me.

Personally, I'm not willing to prostitute compromise myself like that just to say I'm getting a hook-up. To me, that's a cost that's WAY more than the value of what I'm receiving. Maybe that's the key difference between me and these other basic bitches women out here. I tell my kids all the time "NOTHING in this world is free.... everything has a price." Giving someone the poomps my number or pretending to be interested in a guy in order to get some paltry token of a hook-up just isn't worth it to me.

But guys.... you all get more than you think.  So stop all your crying about how women are out here getting over on y'all.  If anything, y'all are getting over on us.  For free.

The Hair Chronicles

I posted an abridged version of yesterday's post, The END = Entirely New Direction, as a note on my Facebook profile, along with a picture of my new 'do.  I received several shocked responses, but most of them were very positive and encouraging.  My older sister wrote me a response that truly touched me and really put my "loc journey" into perspective..... my locs were merely a piece of my ever changing self, and like the title of yesterday's post, this isn't the END, but just a new direction.

I wanted to share this with you, loved ones..... the perspective from someone who loves me and has known me my ENTIRE life, and has seen all the various manifestations of my hair (and myself) over the past 30 years......

***********************************************************************

I am sorry you had drama :( You should call me. As your sister who has known you since birth... your locs are not what I know you for. I have seen ALL your hair drama and triumphs. At birth you had the biggest and most luscious head of hair in a giant baby afro (I have the pic).

Then long pigtails and braids with the ball barrettes that mom had to chase you around the house campaigning for help from your sisters and sit on you to comb (this still makes me laugh).

You managed to escape the jerry curl years (I block those out and deny they happened) which left the rest of us short and shaggy. Then there was the perm years with the high pony tail and the rest down the back... do not forget the big bangs that we used to fight about on the way to school because I was hot and needed the window down and you were in the back and needed to keep your bangs from blowing all over (I cherish some of the memories from us going to HS together).

Do not overlook the poetic justice braids during the pro-africa- do-the-right-thang-public-enemy-de-la-soul years (I cannot believe I wore nylon hair... kankalon?).

Then you came to the Purdue University campus to visit me... and had the salon and cut that long hair all down to a very short curly natural. All the ladies in the salon were in shock and awe. It was like a scene from Waiting to Exhale. Or like the episode of The Game when Mel chopped off her pony tail [starts at 4:20] and Tausha said "Every time a woman cuts off her hair, somewhere a little black girl cries!"  The ladies in the shop acted like you committed a rash act but you made a decision and did it. It was not an accident.

Next you grew it out... afro, twists, THEN the locks, then color locks. Now no locks and a fro again. I see the gasps in some of the post and it is like being in that salon again… just shock because it is natural hair.


So see… I know and love you for the head under the hair… not just your hair. And I personally know you and my lovely sister the giraffe. :) So roar like a giraffe or do what ever sound you think they make when they mean business!


(FYI: Giraffes don't make sounds.... but if they DID, this is what I'd want mine to sound like when it means business*)

(*and for those not in the know, that's the sound Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb makes.  He's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action.)

The END = Entirely New Direction

There's a saying or myth or theory that our bodies are completely regenerated every seven years, meaning the cells that you had seven years ago have been completely replaced.  Basically, we are not the same "people" that we were seven years ago, at least from a biological standpoint.

In October 2002 I started my "loc journey", and in October 2009, I ended it.

If you have locs or know someone who has locs, you will often hear the concept that locs transmit and hold energy, both positive and negative.  Honestly, when I first started locking my hair, I thought this was a bunch of malarkey.  But as time went on I started to notice that when I was in a good mood and happy, my locs looked fantastic.  When I was feeling crappy or was sick, they acted a fool.  I could use the exact same grooming regimen, the exact same styling techniques, and the exact same products, but my mood made the ultimate determination as to whether they would look great or just okay. 

As I've alluded to in previous posts (and discussed in depth in my predecessor blog), I've been through A LOT of challenges and hard times over the past three years, primarily dealing with a divorce and career implosion.  My locs would have their good days and bad days, but I could always manage to get them back to looking good.

Well, in the past few months, they finally crapped out on me.

In the past several weeks I've been dealing with a tremendous amount of sadness and regret and hurt stemming from my own bad decision making, and I really, really hurt someone I love very much over things that were from or should have remained in the past.  I got fed up with myself and fed up with my baggage and fed up with EVERYTHING and went on a delete and purge mission.  Contact numbers.... deleted.  E-mail and chat...... blocked and deleted.  Old pictures transferred from one Blackberry to another..... deleted.  Then I turned to myself..... deleted my blog dedicated to my experiences with my divorce, deleted my Twitter account, and I told myself once and for all that I was going to be the person that I KNOW that I am, not this person that got mired down in drama and hurt and negativity.

Whenever I'm feeling particularly stressed I feel an urge to cut my hair as a means of freeing myself from negativity, but I (luckily) never had the cajones to do it.  But last week I finally looked at my locs and said "You have got to go."  My scalp was a dermatological nightmare, my locs were thinning (several of them had to be "married" to the adjacent loc so they wouldn't fall out), and they just stuck out every which way.  They just started to feel like a weight that I had to get out from under.  I knew that this was unlike the previous feelings I'd had about them before..... this time was for real.  I felt like if I were truly committed to change and growth, I had to get rid of the locs that were holding years of negative energy.

At first I was just going to cut them off myself down to the roots... the urge was very strong because I just wanted them GONE, but I didn't want to be rash and end up really regretting my decision.  I really wished I had someone close to me that could have helped me.... I've heard of people having friends and loved ones do the honors, but honestly, I had nobody around who would really understand.  I also have NO money to pay a professional to do it, but I thought I'd ask my loctician anyway to see how much he would charge.  He told me that if I allowed him to do a "trend cut" and take pictures that he would do it for free (he's VERY artistic and does these wild, impractical styles on his clients who are about to cut their locs off anyway) which I was excited about, but then I didn't hear back from him after asking when he thought he could do it.  I was literally getting panicked at the thought of having to go several more weeks.  So I took that as a sign that this was something that I would have to do myself.... that I NEEDED to do myself.

The way I went about removing my locs I would NOT recommend to anyone unless you have a helluva lot of patience and the texture of hair that would allow for it.  Basically, I unraveled my locs.  Call it vanity or whatever, but I really was not looking forward to the idea of having to sport a TWA (teenie weenie afro) for a few months, but I was willing to do it, particularly considering that I somewhat wanted to make myself less "hollerable" (i.e. no desire to get back into the dating game any time soon.... not saying that guys don't like short naturals, but I think I personally look better with longer hair).  I knew from years of having the ends of my locs unravel about 1/2 cm or so every time I washed them that they would come undone with only a slightly unreasonable amount of effort.  I went and got some detangling shampoo, some Organic Root Stimulator Hair Mayonnaise Deep Conditioner, and some metal picks and got to work.

First I cut about 5" off the back, which was longer because of the way my hair had been cut, making the locs all the same length in a bob just above my shoulders.  Then I washed and conditioned my hair, leaving the deep conditioner on for about 2 hours to soften up the locs.  I was going to cut the locs down to about 2" of loc'd hair, but then I tried one test loc to see if I could undo it without cutting off any more length, and sure enough..... I could.

This is what I used to pick each individual loc apart:

Um yea.... that all used to be one piece.  And there were actually 4 prongs on the pick portion (I have no clue where the last one went).  And they used to be straight.  I used the metal prongs to to unravel and remove the loc'd hair bit by bit, which probably took about 5 minutes for EACH loc.  Then I used the comb part to rake out all of the shedded hair that makes up the bulk of locs.  In total, this is all that came out:

You can see the only part of my loc that I actually cut.... not very much.  I was actually really proud of how little buildup I had in my locs, thanks primarily to my loctician's insistence that no products are necessary to loc your hair, and a little product, if you use anything at all, goes a LONG way.  Also, I washed my hair a lot.... actually more than I ever did when I had a perm, which is contrary to what many people believe about people with locs.  I'd hate to see what this would have looked like if I'd used some heavy wax or pomade to loc my hair. 

It took me three days to finish all of this.  Yes, 3 DAYS.  I started Sunday night and finished Tuesday afternoon (I was home sick with my daughter, so no, I did not take off work for this).  Let me just say..... I will NEVER do this again.  But right now I felt like I NEEDED to do this, that the time and the struggle and the work was my penance, my symbol and reminder to myself that I could not change and eliminate negativity so quickly and easily, but rather it took a lot of time, patience and work.  And I literally paid in blood as well:

That's from the pick slipping and the metal pick scraping across my skin (and yes, it still stings).  My thumb is gouged up as well from holding each loc and pushing the metal prongs through each one over and over and over.  I ended up with quite a bit of hair left, enough to pull into a small ponytail.  And being that I didn't do much cutting, I still maintained a decent shape and don't really need to trim it up (for now). 

So..... my "crowning glory" is gone.  My attribute that got me the most (publicly verbalized) compliments is no more.  This was my sacrifice to myself, to my life, to karma, to everyone I've loved and everyone I've hurt.  This isn't lip service, loved ones.  This is REAL.

Before (at the height of their "glory").......

After.....

For now I shall sport my natural, but one day I do plan on going back to locs.  They are just "me".  It was just time for that first set to go.  Although I loved my locs and will probably miss them, I'm content with my decision.  I'm sure many people won't understand it, and think I was nuts for cutting my "long pretty hair" (I'm NOT looking forward to my 90 year old grandmother's reaction).  A few people know where I'm coming from, and those are the people I really count amongst my friends.

 "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  ~Dr. Seuss

"The magnanimous possibilities...."

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Anais Nin

"God, make me so uncomfortable that I will do the very thing I fear." ~Ruby Dee

The main impetus behind and theme of this blog is change. I've been going through a lot of change in the past 3 years, and a TON of change in the past year alone, in all aspects of my life.... career, relationships, and within myself.

I like variety, but I don't like change.... to me it's scary. I prefer predictable over chaotic. But the only thing that is constant in life is change. As we grow and develop as human beings, like babies in the womb, a butterfly in a chrysalis, or a bird in an egg, there comes a point where NOT changing becomes more painful than changing and the refusal or inability to change results in demise.

But like babies, butterflies, birds and blossoms, what emerges when we change is often something new and wonderful, and full of more possibilities than what we first started with. This is where I'm at right now. Although I'm somewhat scared about the transition process itself, I'm anticipating what lies on the other side of that transition.

I have a big change that I'm about to make soon, but I'll reveal that later, loved ones. For now, I leave you with one of my favorite poems by one of my favorite artists, Jill Scott, that inspires me and gives me hope for the future whenever I read it. Enjoy.

The What-ifs

It-is

The

What-

ifs

The magnanimous possibilities of this life

This now

This hour

This minute

The next is unknown

And that is ok!

Alright

All good

Uh-huh

Can't say what will break through

Can't say what will slide out

Knock up the world today

But I am soft and strong

Willed and passionate

My dreams are of seeing and being

More than what I am

And these dreams don't take the low podium

Now that I know

What I know

And that don't fit into sizes

Or parameters

Nothing can bar my exceptionality

Won't be wearing the silver medal

No medals at all

My muscle has grow and my back has vigor

I am ready for the unspecified

Why shouldn't I be?

It is the what-ifs my darlings

That we should gild

The magnanimous possibilities of this life

This now

This hour

This minute

The next to be unknown

And that's ok!

Oh yes!

All good

Uh-huh

Hallelujah

By Jill Scott, "The Moments, The Minutes, The Hours"

"Far more complex than the words I say....."

When I'm feeling particularly distressed, I don't write. I fear that too much negativity will come spewing out into the ether, exponentially magnified by everyone who reads my words. Plus sometimes you end up saying things you wish you could take back, but they are forever memorialized in your writing.  And besides, we off that.

During times like these I turn to music to express my feelings, or to pick myself up, or to convey a message. This is my FAVORITE quote that expresses why music is so important to me: "We don't have a language, or even a linguistic eloquence, that can begin to be fully truthful to the experiences that we have the short time we are here in time and space. So therefore you need some sounds.....even some noise. Organized noise. We need silence between the notes and the sounds that get at the deeper truths of who we are....." (Ludwig von Beethoven, via Dr. Cornel West, via DJ Limelight's "Meaning of Michael".... get familiar) Music expresses what we sometimes cannot. And it goes beyond what is said in the lyrics; the music itself taps into a part of our soul that words cannot reach.

With all that said, I wanted to share this with you, loved ones. Mainstream doesn't know about this song or this group, and if you're one of the few that do and you're not already a dear friend of mine, you should be.  This is my FAVORITE song.  Period. (Though sometimes Common "Break My Heart" makes for a photo finish.) I will scream and run over you onto the dance floor when it plays. I really believe in this song, and I really want to make it a reality in my life. And that's all I'll say about that. That's all I NEED to say about that. Enjoy......

Introducing Idiosyncratic Me

So, I've explained the whole "Unheeded Prophetess" thing..... but what about the "Idosyncratic" thing? Let's explore......

id⋅i⋅o⋅syn⋅cra⋅sy

/ˌɪdiəˈsɪŋkrəsi, -ˈsɪn-/ [id-ee-uh-sing-kruh-see, -sin-]

–noun, plural -sies.

1. a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.
2. the physical constitution peculiar to an individual.
3. a peculiarity of the physical or the mental constitution, esp. susceptibility toward drugs, food, etc.

The Idiosyncratic Personality Type:

The Idiosyncratic type represents a particular irrational strategy for obtaining happiness.

Desires/ Pleasures:

• non-conformity
• dreaming
• the spirit
• eccentricity
• freethinking
• idiosyncratic feelings and belief systems, worldview, and approach to life
• odd habits
• self-direction
• independence
• the extrasensory
• the supernatural
• abstract and speculative thinking
• being inner-directed
• observing others
• new experiences and feelings
• rapture
• freedom from rules

Fears/ Distresses:

• conformity
• convention
• tradition
• how other people react to them
• that others think them strange
• old belief systems
• joining
• affiliation
• adapting
• accepting or espousing anyone else's principles and beliefs
• standard explanations
• ridicule
• doubt
• uncertainty
• disillusionment
• the "regular" world
• narrow-minded people
• normal behavior standards
• others' expectations
• accepting authority

Needs:

• needs to march to a distinctive beat, different from the conventional rhythms that most people follow
• needs to be tuned into and sustained by their own feelings and belief systems, whether or not others accept or understand their particular world view or approach to life
• needs to be self-directed and independent
• needs to avoid convention; needs an interesting, unusual, often eccentric lifestyle
• needs to be open to anything; needs the occult, the extrasensory, and the supernatural
• needs to engage in abstract and speculative thinking
• needs to be keen observers of others, particularly sensitive to how other people react to them
• needs to avoid accepting the customary explanations of what's going on in this world
• needs to avoid being locked into the accepted explanations and interpretations that seem unequivocally true to most people
• needs to live their lives according to the sensations, feelings, and ideas that spring from inside them
• needs to be a nonconformist
• needs to seek the company of like-minded others in order to be more comfortable in life
• needs to avoid "joining"; needs to avoid affiliating or conforming
• needs to avoid accepting or espousing anyone else's principles and beliefs
• needs to heed their inner voices, not those of other people
• needs to avoid basing their self-esteem on following protocol or being correct from someone else's point of view
• needs to build a strange, eccentric lifestyle
• needs to be indifferent to what others think about their habits
• needs to avoid trying to fit in
• needs to reject standard explanations and conventions and rely on inner experience alone to assess the nature of the real world
• needs to question and wonder
• needs to to reinvent the universe in search of reality and truth
• needs to seek emotional experience where the emotions are felt in all their intensity for their own sake
• needs mind/emotional/spiritual expansion
• needs new experiences to send them to new peaks of feeling and awareness of their inner being
• needs to test the limits of emotional and spiritual experience
• needs to always give priority to their inner emotional experience over what others consider to be objective external reality
• needs to be free from rules and conformist expectations 

Dang, I was going to expound on this, but the info above pretty much sums things up.  I have no problem with admitting that I'm an idiosyncratic and eclectic (i.e. weird) individual.  I just don't "fit" in anywhere, which is a blessing, but also at times a curse.  I've been told that I'm interesting, which is what makes me special, but those interesting qualities that people love about me are the same qualities that drive people insane.  People like to be able to classify and categorize so that people or situations fit somewhere in their minds and make predictions about what's coming next.  Well, unpredictable is a common occurrence when it comes to dealing with me.  Basically, I'm un-boxable.

Although I'm sure I've always been a little different (ex. I ate Wheat Chex while my siblings at Capt'n Crunch, I preferred books over movies, etc.) the first time I really remember wanting to express my idiosyncratic nature was when I was 18 and wanted a body piercing, solely for the reason that it just didn't fit with my nerd, goodie-two-shoes, quiet personality from high school (I know every 16 year old has a mandatory navel ring these days, but back in the mid-90's it was still kind of novel).  It wasn't anything I showed off on the regular, just something that I knew I had (ok, so I did wear mid-drift bearing shirts when appropriate).  And it went on from there, to more piercings (at one point I had a total of 5 non-ear piercings.... now I'm down to 2), to dreadlocks, to elaborate tattoos.... you get the idea.  But then I went and became an attorney (can you say "incongruous"?)  Along with the physical, though, also came the mental..... my views of the world, my likes and dislikes, everything.  You can pretty much bet that if it's mainstream, I really don't care for it too much.  It actually got to be a problem in my relationship with my high school sweetheart (I promised I wouldn't discuss the "D" word) because as I got older, I got weirder and weirder as I got more comfortable with expressing my idiosyncrasies. 

So this is just fair warning to you, loved ones.... I don't choose words lightly (self professed logophile here), thus the reason the title of this blog is so fitting because this is who I AM.... like it, love it, or leave it.  There may be times where what I write leaves you scratching your head or thinking I'm crazy, but remember.... they thought the Unheeded Prophetess was crazy, too (watch out for that horse).

Resurection, transformation, young love and the soul

As I was cleaning up today (finally..... I'm admittedly domestically challenged) I went out on my patio to shake out a rug and saw this:

As a child, I LOVED Monarch butterflies.  I used to draw pictures of them, sing songs about them, catch them and keep them in jars (for a little while), the whole nine.  I'm originally from Missouri and used to see them all the time when I lived there, probably because milkweed was abundant in the area where I lived.  Since I moved here almost 20 years ago, I've probably seen less than five, and I'm sure some of those were at the butterfly exhibit at the botanical gardens.

So imagine my utter surprise and joy to see this little guy on MY patio, of all places.  I'm sure it's due to the changing seasons and the Monarch migration south.....Monarch butterflies are the only insect that can fly 2,500 miles to a warmer climate. Their unique wing structure and yearly life cycle makes it possible for the fall generation monarchs to travel thousands of miles to the warm nesting grounds of Mexico. [end nerd moment]

Despite the logical explanation for this butterfly being on my patio, I still believe that we are given signs and omens, and I took this as such (yea, I'm kinda New Age-ish; I read horoscopes and pay attention to signs, but loosely.... I take note of coincidences and let them guide, not direct, my actions).  Off hand I didn't know exactly what it meant, so, being the nerd that I am, I did a little research. This is what I found:

The Butterfly is a universal symbol of change, resurrection, transformation, celebration, young love and the soul.

As a symbol of transformation; the butterfly represents everlasting life, stemming from it's various stages of life.

1. Birth (the caterpillar),
2. Death (the chrysalis), and finally,
3. Resurrection (the butterfly).

In some myths, the Butterfly brings sleep and dreams. In others, it is symbolic of female fertility and is thought to be the bringer of children. The butterfly also represents love and relationships.

Ah yes..... so, so very fitting right now.  I am in the midst of tremendous change, both externally and, more importantly, internally.  It's the whole reason I set fire to got rid of my old blog and Twitter account.  So many things in my life are shifting and in flux. I think the Most High is letting me know that things will be ok, that change is definitely in the works, and that change, like the amazing transformation and travels of the Monarch butterfly, is going to be miraculous...... but also long.  It's like traveling from Washington D.C. to Las Vegas..... that would be a sucky trip in a car, let alone on 4" paper thin wings with birds swooping out of the sky to eat you and a rainstorm wiping out your entire family (I watched a documentary on this not to long ago actually..... it was kind of sad).  Anyway, back to my point. A friend of mine told me I needed to purge, and that's what I've been doing.  Purging people, purging attitudes, purging feelings, just trying to get (back?) to me as I know that I TRULY am. 

As far as the love and relationships thing..... well, I'm just going to be still on that.  I'm turning that one over to the Most High and focusing on what I can control at the moment, and fixing what I can.  We'll see where it all goes from there.

Life is Better (since I found you)

For anyone who doesn't know me, I LOVE music. No, I'm not a music factoid junkie, but music is seriously a necessity in my life, like food and shelter and sex.  Good music doesn't just touch my ears, it touches my soul.

Today, loved ones, I am sharing one such piece of auditory and visual stimulation...... Q-Tip feat. Norah Jones - "Life is Better" video.  Q-Tip and Norah are two of my favorite "feel good" artists.  From "Bonita Applebum" to "Gettin' Up", any time I hear an ATCQ or Q-Tip song I instantly feel better.  And I fell in love with Norah's distinctive voice the very first time I heard "Don't Know Why".... her voice is just so soothing and unique that I can always tell when it's her singing.

So Q-Tip plus Norah??  Yea, if this doesn't make you feel good.... *points finger at door* get out.

The Meaning of Michael: Deeper Than Philosophy

Another AID gem I will share with you...... and you can listen to it thru the link on the right.  And this dude made it even BETTER!  Dunno how that is possible, but he did it.  Man.......

"Beethoven says that music is deeper than philosophy..... because in the end we're finite creatures. We don't have a language, or even a linguistic eloquence, that can begin to be fully truthful to the experiences that we have the short time we are here in time and space. So therefore you need some sounds.....even some noise. Organized noise. We need silence between the notes and the sounds that get at the deeper truths of who we are....." ~ Dr. Cornel West

(click to listen and download)

It is my utter joy and privilege share with you the best Michael Jackson tribute mix ever, created by my dear friend and favorite DJ, DJ Limelight. Yes, I know MJ died back in June, and it is now September, after all of the frenzy around his death has begun to wane, so it would seem that this is coming a little.... late. Not so. At ALL. Michael Jackson's musical career spanned 45 years.... most artists are lucky to get 4.5 months of success, let alone almost half a century. So to rush to throw together a Michael Jackson tribute mix a week or two after he died would not have done this great artist justice. DJ Limelight has literally been working on creating and perfecting his self-professed "magnum opus" since MJ died in June.... and it shows.

With that said, this is not your typical assemblage of Michael Jackson's music that you hear at wedding receptions, class reunions, and your local dive bar. Don't look for Beat It, Bad, Billie Jean, or Thriller..... they're not here. As the title implies, this is the true meaning of Michael Jackson in the eyes (and ears) of DJ Limelight, AND in the hearts of anyone who is truly a Michael Jackson fan. It's a timeless piece that transcends generations.... I made copies for my parents AND my 10 year old daughter. It doesn't just make you dance, it makes you feel.

But wait, there's more..... aside from the insanely creative butter smooth transitions between songs that just give you chills (or make you fall out on the floor like my homegirl over at Kunta Fly Shyt did when we were given a sneak preview of the final mix), the rare and unreleased MJ tracks (what ya know about that PYT Demo??), one of my favorite things about this mix is the commentary from scholars, comedians and artists interspersed and woven seamlessly in with the music that really touches on Michael Jackson's impact and genius as an artist and entertainer, and each comment is tied into the song that comes after it. There are several clips from scholar Dr. Cornel West from an interview with Tavis Smiley and Dr. Michael Eric Dyson that are just pure genius.... one of my favorite parts of the mix comes at 38:38, beginning with this quote from Dr. West:

"I think the important thing to understand first and foremost about Michael Jackson is that he was the international emblem of the African American blues spiritual impulse that goes back through slavery - Jim Crow, Jane Crow, up to the present moment, through a Louis Armstrong, through a Ma Rainey, through a Bessie Smith, all the way to John Coltrane, Aretha Franklin and Nina Simone. Michael Jackson was part of that tremendous wave....."

(Listen to and read the entire interview HERE, and you'll have to listen to the mix to hear why I run around and start screaming when I hear it)

I mean, what other DJs out there are doing this? Analyzing and commenting on the philosophical and sociological impact of Michael Jackson while at the same time giving you music that just makes you feel GOOD. I have been listening to this non-stop for the past 3 days since it was released, and I still can't get enough of it. Sheer brilliance..... both Michael Jackson and DJ Limelight.

So listen to it.... download it.... share it.... love it.

R.I.P Cloves

*Disclaimer: Yes, I know that smoking is bad. And growing up I always said I would NEVER smoke after watching my dad smoke for the past however many decades.  Thus I am not encouraging ANYBODY to start smoking cloves or any other type of tobacco product.  I'ma quit eventually..... I swear I will.

It's been 19 days since the law banning clove cigarettes went into effect.  For those of you not aware, Congress passed a law that bans the sale of flavored cigarettes...... except for menthol (I'll get to that later).  The law authorizes the FDA to ban all flavored tobacco products, but as of right now it just applies to cigarettes (no worries, your local hookah bar is safe).  The principle behind the law is that it is intended to discourage kids from smoking with the whole "gateway" theory that says that flavored tobacco appeals more to kids, and thus entices them to smoke. 

What a buttload of crap.

Clove smokers make up 1% of the smoking population.... ONE PERCENT.  You mean to tell me that all the teens that smoke are in that 1%?  I didn't know about cloves until I was about 28, but I sure saw PLENTY of teens smoking regular old cigarettes.  This law was a half-hearted swing at the tobacco industry that missed by a mile, and only served to piss us neo-hippie folks off. 

And did you know this? The bill was backed by Phillip-Morris.  That kind of explains why the ban excludes menthol cigarettes (even though they are flavored), because that's what Phillip-Morris sells.  Phillip Morris doesn't sell cloves.... those are primarily made and imported by Kretek International, an Indonesian company.  So basically the U.S. Government just gave Phillip Morris a $140 million per year gift by squashing a portion of their competition.  If Congress were REALLY concerned about the health of the American youth, they would have included menthols in the ban as well, because I seem to recall an awful lot of kids in high school smoking menthols.....

So for the clove smokers out there, we were left with a few options:

1. Stock up on Djarums and keep them in an Army bunker (but at $70 a carton, I don't know too many of my folks who did that...... maybe DJ Limelight, but I'm sure he can write that off as a business expense)
2. Switch to regular cigarettes (gwoss)
3. Stop smoking altogether (the most idealistic of the choices, but not very realistic)
4. Switch to the new and unimproved Djarum Black filtered cigars.
   

Option number 4 was the one I kept hearing from my clove smoking brethren, saying that Djarum Blacks weren't really going away, just being repackaged and there wouldn't be any change.

What a second buttload of crap.

My assessment of the new and unimproved Djarum Blacks is that they suck lemur nuts.  I bought one pack and that was enough for me.  They come in a smaller package and are cheaper that the old cloves, and they are slightly bigger in diameter.  The change that makes them legal to sell is that they are wrapped in tobacco instead of paper, and thus considered a cigar.  Well, they taste like a cigar and NOT like a Djarum Black.  Smoking one made me feel like someone kicked me in the chest, and then forced me to lick their ashtray clean.  I've yet to find anyone who actually likes them.  I went to my favorite little smoke shop in the white hood that has the drive thru window, and they said they weren't even going to carry them because nobody likes them.  Damn. 

So basically all Congress did was 1) piss off the people who probably all voted for Obama in the first place  2) left us with a MORE harmful alternative that contains more tobacco than their predecessors and 3) did Big Tobacco a huge favor.  Thanks for looking out for my best interests, Government.

Right now I'm left with a few Djarum Cherrys/Reds that I managed to find from a retailer that was trying to get rid of their stock.   They're not Djarum Blacks, but they're not those shitty Djarum Black cigars either.  Presently I'm looking into a 5th option and researching the legality of purchasing them online directly from the importer. Goodness knows I have no desire to break any federal laws over some dumb ish that I really shouldn't be doing anyway. But supposedly the law only bans the sale of cloves by US distributors, not their purchase or possession.  I don't trust everything I read on the internet, though, so we shall see.

"And meet a new lover, and he'll call you Gail...."

As promised, I brought some of my old favorites with me to my new blogospheric home. As I can (unfortunately) fully attest to, break-ups suck. This post favorite has been on my mind lately, just cuz I needed a good laugh:

***********************************************************************
(originally posted January 27, 2009)

Today I am taking a break from my personal BS featuring a guest "blogger" (she doesn't really blog, but whatever) who wrote a break-up song about a guy she was dating that I found highly amusing, so I asked if I could share it with my loved ones in the blogosphere. She wrote 2 versions, an original and the "remix" (the first is a ballad, the second has more of a punk rock feel.... not that we have actual music for it, but you get the idea). It's funny how 2 people can see a situation in 2 completely different ways..... it's even funnier when 1 person does it.

My friends are special.

So without further adieu, I present "Good-Bye My Lover":

We met on a rainy Sunday at a pub in Camden Town.
I was with him; you, with your friends – neither seeking to be found.
A storm appeared and you sought me out to be my calm
You charmed me and surprised me and I let my guard down.

An unanticipated affair - soft, easy and affectionate
None too sure if this could go, we took it slow and kept it innocent.
No talks of the future and little of our pasts
Nothing was expected, no demands did we cast.

We were a fluke – a chance meeting that never was supposed to be
I have no right to ask you where you are or what you want me to be
I don't need closure, I have clarity
Thank you for the opportunity
Good-bye my lover...

What we had was special but now it time to say good-bye.
I'll see you in another life at another place in time
But for now let's just say good-bye.

Staring out the window as the sun sets on my suppose-ed loneliness
My mind begins to question
And answers, "I'm not upset"
I never cheated
You never lied
You never stormed out
I never cried
Nothing between us was ever left unsaid
I only harbour fondness of the good times we had
We never fought or made each other feel pain.
There's nothing to long for and no one to blame.

We were an accident – a flame that never was
I will never ask you to be my forever love
No need to ask me for forgiveness and I don't need an apology
Thank you for bringing out the best in me
Good-bye my lover...

What we had was special but now it time to say good-bye.
I'll see you in another life at another place in time
But for now let's just say good-bye.

What we had was enchanting
A brief friendship in time.
No reason to be hurt or shed a tear
I live without wishing you were mine.
And for all you did my lover this song is my one token
Picking up the pieces is impossible because nothing's been broken.

With all my respect and best of intentions
Thank you for the memories.
Good-by my lover...good-bye


And the Remix......

We met on a rainy Sunday at a pub in Camden Town.
I was with him; you, with your friends – neither seeking to be found.
Midway through, he f***ed up and in to me you stepped
Thought you charmed and wowed me but you just made me upset.

You never should have sat down next to me that night
From the look on my face you should have known I was ready to fight.
I didn't like the sound of your voice or the way you looked
Whiny and plain like right from a Jane Austen book.

I swore I'd never call you but you kept calling me
No matter how many times I told you to get the h*ll away from me
I don't want to know you
You'll never be the man I need
Step off m*thaf*****!

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye.

Staring out the window as the sun sets
My mind begins to question
And answers, "I'm d*** upset"
You show up at my house
You show up at my job
You send me rubbish flowers
You never shut your gob
You try to earn my respect
This you'll never do
I'd never be seen in public
With the likes of you

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye

I wish you'd go kill yourself

You make me so angry
Stop pestering me
I'll never go out with you - keep your apology
Return to your dungeon alone forever you'll be

Step off m*thaf*****!

We'll never have a romance
No, we'll never be friends
I won't feel warm and fuzzy
And this is where it ends.
As for the restraining order - violate and you'll go to jail
And meet a new lover and he'll call you Gail.

Good-bye my lover, Get the f*** out my face, You never should have
been here in the first place. I never meant to meet you and you
haven't changed my life. Good-bye my lover. Good-bye.

Copyright 2009 "Mistress Amber" Ying

Birdie has a new nest

Oh, and for all you Twitizens out there, my birdie has flown to a new tree and is building a new nest. Won't you join me??

Follow Me on Twitter

(I just hope Congress doesn't outlaw these next....)

Introduction to The Unheeded Prophetess

Welcome, loved ones, to my new home in the blogosphere!  You may remember me from a little site called Adventures in Divorce.... the murderous cake..... Anesidora..... all that?  No?? Good.  Because I'm starting over fresh..... well, almost fresh because I brought some of my favorite posts with me which I may break out from time to time.  I had to cut and run on AID because the energy was just..... bad.  Plus I wanted to write about other things besides baby daddy drama, dating drama, parenting drama, just.....DRAMA. I am a Cancer, and we Cancerians tend to cling to the past, so I'm being proactive and pitching all that crap. 

So, you may ask, what the heck is up with the whole "prophetess" thing?

Naw, it's not cause I'm stuck on myself or think I know everything or have some divine gift or portal into the next dimension... quite the contrary. For those of you not (extremely) well versed in Greek mythology, or for those who never watched the cartoon series Hercules (not the movie....the character I'm talking about is not in the movie), here's the scoop (from Wikipedia.org):

In Greek mythology, Cassandra ("she who entangles men") (also known as Alexandra) was a daughter of King Priam of Troy and his queen Hecuba, who captured the eye of Apollo and was granted the gift of prophecy. However, when she did not return his love, Apollo placed a curse on her so that no one would ever believe her predictions.

When Cassandra foresees the destruction of Troy (she warns the Trojans about the Trojan Horse, the death of Agamemnon, and her own demise), she is unable to do anything to forestall these events. Her family believes she is mad, and, according to some versions, kept her locked up because of this. From her appearances in various plays, it seems that the incarceration drove her truly mad, at least by the time of Troy's destruction.

Or as Dictionary.com sums it up:

Cassandra n.

1. Greek Mythology. A daughter of Priam, the king of Troy, endowed with the gift of prophecy but fated by Apollo never to be believed. 
2. One that utters unheeded prophecies.

So there you go. It's quite fitting, actually, because it seems like people treat me like I don't know what the hell I'm talking about an awful lot, which makes me think that maybe I'm the crazy one. (I don't know what the deal is with "entangling men". If someone can help me out with that one, I'd appreciate it.)

I'm ready to get on with this..... are you?