"And some waffle fries.... FOR FREE!"

I apologize if the following video is offensive to anyone..... and this is the first and last apology you will ever receive here at Idiosyncratic Thoughts.  But it's for background and context loved ones (focus on part 1:09).......





I always hear guys lamenting about how women are always getting in men's pockets and getting stuff for free. You think we never have to buy a drink, we never have to buy anything to eat, and we always have some sucker benevolent gentleman to take us shopping. I would consider myself a fairly attractive woman with a nice donk and tig-ole-bitties a pleasing physique, and I'm here to state for the record that:

• I typically drink in the parking lot before going into the club buy my own drinks, and if I don't it's usually a friend who holds me down.
• I've never had a bill paid by a man.
• Nobody has ever taken me shopping.
• I've never been taken on a vacation.
• I finance and pay for my own car.
• I get my own nails and hurr hair did.
  
• I work for everything I get.

Perhaps I'm just doing something wrong and dudes really are out here tricking like that on a regular basis, in which case please educate me on the the proper application of my Powers of Persuasion (and trust, my advocacy is quite strong). Otherwise, I'm here to tell you that it's not going down like that out here, and that the the notion that we are always getting stuff for free is just as big of a myth as the notion that there are all these men out here with the means of paying for all these big ticket items ("Whatever You Like" is a freaking fairy tale).

On the other hand, though, I must reveal the other side of this coin, and that is that guy get more shyt for free from women than they care to admit or acknowledge, and without all the hassle and stipulations that we are subject to.

Let me give you a scenario: I'm at the Wendy's drive-thru with my... um.... well.... him. We're placing a somewhat "complex" order (i.e. asking for more than one thing to be added to or omitted from more than 1 sandwich.... the odds of it being correct are slim to none), and my... uh.... he is joking around with the drive thru chick and Spongebob Christy the food prep chick who he hears drive-thru chick talking to in the background to make sure she got the order right.

(*Non-Sequitur Moment: in my marital arts leadership class we learned the 3 Means of Touch, one of which is the use of a person's name. Just think about how powerful that simple little thing is, loved ones......)

We get to the window and he decides that the fries aren't quite hot enough and asks drive thru chick to have Christy make us some more. Then he says "And throw in a 5 piece nugget, too." Her response: "Ok." Five minutes later drive-thru chick AND Christy come out to deliver a bag that is twice as full as the one we were originally handed, which included not five, but about 3940238942 nuggets. And this was with me in the car.... I'd hate to see what the damage would have been if I hadn't been there.

So I know what you're saying.... "Big deal, he got some free nuggets." But this stuff happens to him ALL THE TIME. I have countless stories of how this dude constantly gets free stuff off nothing but his charm.  It's so bad that the Taco Bell manager in the mall had to tell the cashiers to quit giving him free food all the time. And that stuff adds up to WAY more than some $8 drink that I was able to procure from Drink Man in the club.

Here is the key difference, though, which is my whole point: women will give men stuff for free just on GP, whereas when women get stuff out of men it is usually on a quid pro quo basis. Men will get the free fries because they are cute/sexy/charming.  I've seen this countless times.... women going all out sending care packages and housewarming gifts and meals and receiving absolutely nothing in return. If we get some free fries, dude expects some booty.  Not a particularly fair exchange.

Case in point: I'm currently sitting at home, alone, on a Friday night, writing this blog post instead of being out and about. DJ D-Nice ("... taking out you suckas and you don't know how I did it....") is at a club downtown tonight, but the tickets are $20. I know the... well.... he doesn't have a title, just kind of the 2nd HNIC (or "dude who gets shyt done"), quite well (to state it lightly). I didn't even bother hitting him up to ask for a hook-up because I know the expectation would be that there would have to be some "return" on his complete lack of investment, and quite honestly $20 isn't just a crackhead price, it's a meth head price. Women, on the other hand, don't have such expectations, and will hook a guy up just because he's cute. Perhaps it is just in our nature to care for children and fools men, or maybe it's societal constraints in place that tell us it's not okay for women to ask for sexual favors in return for non-sexual favors and instead we merely do these things out of hope that the guy will offer up such an exchange. Whatever the sociological case may be, all I know is that he gets things for free off of a smile and that cute little walk of his (excuse my caking), whereas it's a treacherous negotiation and hassle for me.

Personally, I'm not willing to prostitute compromise myself like that just to say I'm getting a hook-up. To me, that's a cost that's WAY more than the value of what I'm receiving. Maybe that's the key difference between me and these other basic bitches women out here. I tell my kids all the time "NOTHING in this world is free.... everything has a price." Giving someone the poomps my number or pretending to be interested in a guy in order to get some paltry token of a hook-up just isn't worth it to me.

But guys.... you all get more than you think.  So stop all your crying about how women are out here getting over on y'all.  If anything, y'all are getting over on us.  For free.